i will never give up as long as i live

i will never give up on you
even though others cannot see your potential
even though others condemn you

i will never give up on you
even though your antics annoy every one around
even though my time is as precious as yours

i will never give up on you
even though i always wonder how this can be solved
even though i have others i will never give up with

i will never give up on you
because i know this is the right thing to do
because i love you for the sake of Allah - insyaAllah

i will never give up on you
because you were once someone inspirational to me
because you have something special others don't

i will never give up on you
because Allah also never gave up on you no matter what

"now wot?"

patience, please

will this be a dream come true?
masyaAllah and alhamduliLllah~
(restlessly waiting)

"seeking The One"

that phone call away

ummi called this morning
she talked of the things i've always dreamed of
those dreams which i always kept myself...

• to drive forever without asking permission from anyone
• to relive those sweet childhood memories once more
• to end all the heartaches caused by my own faults
  
• to be a true servant to Allah Almighty
• ... (i can't be sharing everything)
  

and i never told anyone
it surprised me to the fullest that:

• she knew what my heart wanted
• she was giving me hope after weeks of agony
• Allah planned all this so beautifully

when someone you loved, showered you care and understood you; the love deepens rite?
my love for ummi grows even more
thank you Allah for giving me the chance to still be with ummi
she always was a phone call away

why, the highest thanks should be given

• to The One who cared for me longer and most
• to The One who understood me most
• to The One who never gave up on me

thak you Allah for always being there
please forgive my ignorance
i wanna be stronger, more devoted to You
yet sometimes - i failed
let this be the last
besides, He always was a prayer away
in reality, looking on me

"dear Allah, i need You"

only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live

"Urghh, has the ghost come out?" I asked peeking through my fingers. Congkak was on air and it was not on my list to watch this that night. The movie was giving out eerie sound effects, bringing chills in my backbone and goose pimples on my arms.

"Not yet, relax," my cousin said, confirming. His eyes were wide open. Anxious to see the ghost's appearance I bet.

"How long must it take? Easy for you to say that," I grunted. Feeling childish to hide when every other kid in the house was all eyes on the tv screen, I braved myself to at least give it a go.

"Husna, try to fight that fear of yours," advised PakLang, noticing my cowardice behaviour.

"I've tried - for years," I sighed. The ghost revealed its face or should I say, her. I quickly sought refuge behind KakLong. Blood all over her face, my cousin chipped into my discussion with PakLang.

"Do you know that there's a threshold for every fear? You gotta go beyond that threshold. Gather your courage and face it," started PakLang on what he believes has restrained me from looking fear straight into the eye.

"Threshold?" Inside I wondered: If I can't even bear to look at the ghost, what more do I have to endure to get beyond that threshold he mentioned?

"Yup. For instance, you know those who were sentenced for years behind bars under ISA? At first, those peace warriors probably had fear of being captured. They must have been worried about the many possible things that will happen before them and those left neglected later. But to those who have endured it, they are much braver than those who haven't; to fight for what is right. Do you get my point?"

He wants me to look at what I fear carefreely, I said to myself. Gotta try. "I get it. Probably one day I'll watch a ghost story bravely, but not now."

Lesson:

• Terrified of watching ghost stories does not mean you are a scaredy-cat. Life has its own fears to be encountered. Don't waste your time and don't teach children to grow brave through horror movies.
  
• If you fear something (you run away or feel traumatized), challenge yourself for a go. Fight that fear before it attacks you.

Muslim narrated: Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said:
"The strong believer is better and more loved by Allah than the weak one, but they are both good."

"Strong will for a strong faith, insyaAllah"